How to be a giver, not a sacrificer

toms

Being someone who makes sacrifices is often held up as a virtue. But whether we’re trying to form creative, autonomy-respecting relationships with your children or relating to adults in different areas of life, ‘giving in’ is not a solution. Giving and ‘giving in’ are not the same thing.

This year in my journalling, each week I’ve been focussing on a different quality that I’d like to encourage in myself. I’ve got thirteen to think about over the year, so each quality will get four weeks of attention.

But the quality I return to most often and which seems to me to be the most fundamental is generosity. I’m not talking about having pots of money to give away, though that might be a factor for some, but something deeper. We can be generous whether we are wealthy or in financial poverty. The point is that giving, whether it’s of time, skills or resources is a key virtue.

But if we’re always giving, doesn’t this lead to always self-sacrificing? …

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One response to “How to be a giver, not a sacrificer

  1. Very refreshing and insightful. My Mum often said I was ‘selfish’ and this became ingrained, so I overdid the ‘giving’ during 30 years of teaching which was exhausting… WB Yeats sends a short, shot across the bows about ‘sacrifice’ and when will it end, and not long ago, an over-generous man killed himself because he felt there was nothing left for him.

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